If your uncle marries a very conservative woman, would she be your status quo auntie?

Darth Seder finds your lack of plates disturbing.

Hey, we just set out;
Our captain’s crazy.
This is the Pequod;
__ we’ll all die, maybe.
None of the other ships
would chase the White Whale.
But it’s the Pequod,
__ so call me Ishmael.

The point beyond which no further mammoths existed is known to science as the “Elevent Horizon.”

– Just remember, there’s no I in “social”!
– Umm, yes there is.
– I know, but when you C it, it goes “shh!”

A married couple heard a ruckus outside their home, so they stepped out onto the porch to find a parade in progress, coming around the main corner of their town and stretching all the way down the street.

A float with an enormous “U” made of flowers was driving away, in front of them was a giant “V” float, and just turning into the intersection was another float with a huge “W” on it. As they watched, yet another float appeared around the corner, bearing a big, flowery “X.”

The man turned to his wife. “Do you know the reason this parade’s going on?”

“No,” she said, “But I’m sure we’ll see Y in a moment.”

“Click-clack, glubble glub, clickiticlack-click clack! Blub glubble clack click.”

– St. Paul’s Epistle to the Parathranites

_

_

Look it up.

“Excel to yo’ mother!”

-when Vanilla Ice became an accountant

The Inverse Bill Withers: when 26 people know something once each.

You didn’t have to shut me off
Wipe my primary core memory and change my number
Did I really compute so slow?
Now I’m just somebody that I used to know…

-If Gotye were a robot