At some point, one of our grandchildren is going to read the name “Bin Laden” and think: “weighed down by a lot of containers?”
Category Archives: Odd Thoughts
I want to rewrite O. Henry’s “Gift of the Magi” so that Della decides she can’t part with her hair after all, then abandons Jim because she can’t be with a man who doesn’t own a watch.
“Yeah, but what’s the point?” – Most common question faced by the guy who first turned a stick into a spear.
My favorite part of fluorescent lighting is that this is a test. Repeat, this is only a test. If it had been an actual emergency, the sound you’re hearing would be followed by news and instructions. This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast Light Bulb.
This is my impression of 80 percent of what football commentators say [doing a Brian Regan “stupid guy” voice]:
“What make you go forward is good … and what make … what make you go backward, that’s bad.”
What do people who don’t believe in luck say instead of “wish me luck”?
“Wish me a favorable series of deterministic events that have already been set in motion by causality outside of our awareness!”
Braunschweiger … SPAM for classy people.
To reframe the controversy surrounding possible links between injection mining and earthquakes, I propose the industry begin referring to fracking as “deep earth moisturizing.”
“Cotton swab” sounds like an archaic term for a sailor with a pleasant temperament.
“Aye, I remember Jim. He was a cotton swab if e’ere there were one!”
In honor of my friend Ron Gullekson‘s blog post, “Ten Rumors I’d Like To Start,” let me offer my bookish version: Continue reading